Let's go to the Beach!

We had another outing to the beach yesterday morning, and it was such a hot, hot day! Even non-water dogs like me and Jack voluntarily went to the water to wet our bums to keep cool. Unfortunately, my M did not manage to grab a pic of Jack getting his butt soaked, coz he did it before we arrived. By the time we reached the beach, Jack is back to his usual pose, which is to sit on the sand with a stern look. Well, I guess a big boss does have to keep up appearances. No use letting us see his non-glamourous, wet bum look.

Buzz off!


With the last few evenings raining heavily, it was a good day for us dogs to be out, and even Chili and Sugar made a rare appearance! Don't they look like some advertisement couple running side by side?

Sugar: I wonder if there's any chance some movie director will be here


I didn't know it, but Chili was afraid of swimming as well. Like me, he'll only voluntarily wade up to chest deep water.

It's chest deep already, not going any further!


Sugar, on the other hand, was enjoying her swim. She's one fearless dog, I tell you.

I'm not scared of water!


Unlikes Scuba, who simply hates swimming. He was looking towards the beach in apprehension even as the humans were having breakfast by the beach. Scuba will scramble off once he reaches land after his forced swim. What a disgrace to his name. Scuba, you're supposed to love water for god's sake! You're Scuba, as in diving.... geddit? You're not supposed to have this perpetual panic stricken look everytime you're in water!

Help! Where is land??????


As for me, although I do not like swimming as well, I still manage to maintain a dignified, if not resigned look.

Being carried out to the execution ground... note the dignified look... SIGH!


Aunty S was having a whale of a time carrying me out to the sea to swim. I lost count of the number of trips I had to make back to shore.

Slowly paddling my way back


And you can see how glad I am to be standing on my feet again.

Ahhh.... land!


I was even made to try out Scuba's life jacket and forced to swim even more! I look like a handbag with that life jacket, and Aunty S found it so much easier to drag me into the water with the very convenient handle.

Arghh... sun in my eyes!


Unlike the water dogs Joey and Tommy, who are actually HAPPY to be in water.

Anyone wanna join me for a swim? Anyone? Anyone?


And Joey is always going after his ball. I don't know why my M bother to take his picture. It's always him with a ball in the mouth. I tell her, just use any of the old photos and Joey won't even be able to tell the difference.

Same dog, same pose, same ball.. just a different day


Speaking of pictures, I don't know why my M likes to take such unflattering shots of us shaking water off. All those loose lips and big floppy ears captured on the camera! Totally unglam! She said it's because we looked so funny. Those humans, having their jokes on our expense! Humph!

I think Tommy needs a lip tuck


Look at me, swinging my fur. Some shampoo ad huh?


And Tommy was definitely having lots of fun frolicking in the sand and running up and down the beach. He was alternating between soaking in the water and having his back scratch on the sand.

Itchy itch itch


I can do a better running pose than Chili and Sugar


It was a very tiring morning, after the beach we had to endure a bath. Scuba slept immediately during the ride home, and I heard Tommy had a power nap in the afternoon as well.

I was so tired that I cuddled up to my M and MM while they took their afternoon nap on the sofa bed. My M complained that I took up too much space on the bed and she had a hard time finding a spot to sleep. Well, you can't blame a tired dog, afterall, they were the ones who forced me to swim!

Round Round Get Around

*to the tune of beach boys!*

Round round get around. I get around....

Not really. I have been turning around tho. I don't know what got into my M's head, and she has decided to teach me a new trick. Me, an old dog, new trick. This does not bode well for my future.

Every morning now, for the last 3 mornings, my breakfast has been accompanied by the repetitive command of 'Turn around, Herbie'. A 5 course breakfast (by which I mean 5 bitesize pieces of biscuits, although I wished that it was a full course), would mean 5 rounds. She's been going on and on about turning around like a spoiled tape recorder.

My M was telling Aunty G and Aunty W about her new mission last night, and Aunty G proudly annouced that Big Boss Jack used to be able to turn both right AND left circles. Thanks a LOT, Aunty G, for putting more crazy ideas into my M's non too sane head. And Aunty W was not that helpful either, going on about how to execute the 'play dead' trick. The only thing I feel like executing now is myself.

I wonder how long more this turning around thing will last. I hope it's only a fad.

Excuse me while I go lie down. I need to recover from my dizzy spell.

How much am I worth?

My M is going to start a new job next month, at some far away place. By far away she means more than 20 minute's drive. Anyway, the new job means that she may have to come home quite late on certain days, so she's contemplating if it's worth getting a 2nd car, since my MM is in sales and he would definately need his own car.

She had a conversation with Uncle J, who suggested that she sell her camera and me (ahem!) to raise funds for the new car. Guess what was her reply? She said that she could at least get back about $1k+ for her camera, but for me, she might have to 'toh tiap'. Again, for the benefit of those who do not speak the hokkien dialect, it means that she may have to pay the other party instead to take me.

Well! I will have her know that there are people who would LOVE to have me! They would gladly take me in, and not accept a single cent!

Hmm, but I wonder, would anyone actually pay to have me? How much would you guys be willing to pay for me? In terms of cash, chicken wings not included.

PS: This is just a 'what if' scenario. I am NOT for sale, or giveaway, really. Although I know how much you guys want me, but I'm staying put in this house.

Slow updates

My M has been pretty busy this weekend, so no time for updates. If you ask me, she's been busy snoozing almost the whole of sunday afternoon, and she calls me the pig!

On a short note, I was punished again on Sunday. I went into the neighbouring granny's house to look for her. Well, her grand-daughters opened the gate for me, I thought they were inviting me in. How was I to know they were letting their guest out? So just as I stepped into the front door, I was dragged out by my tail, hauled up by the scruff on my neck and scolded. So embarressing! Scolded right in front of the neighbours. I had no place to hide but went behind my M's dad's legs to hide my embarressed face.

Darn, I wonder if the neighours will remember how embarrassed I was.

No baby brother :(

The breeder just replied my M, both the bitches who were mated are not pregnant, so no baby brother for me. My M is hoping that there will be another planned litter soon. Now awaiting reply from the breeder.

AUnty V said that I must have been praying for no brothers, but that's not true. I was hoping that the new brother will not be greedy so that I can take his food away from him... hiak hiak hiak.... Opps! Did I just say that out loud? I mean, puppies can't eat too much. Bad for their development... ermm... ya.

On a seperate note, some bad person abandoned 4 rabbits at the park yesterday. The rabbits must have been traumatized. Aunty G said that since my M can't get another puppy for now, it's a sign from heaven that she should keep the rabbits. I don't think my M's very keen on that. I'm not too interested in them tho, but Rafv and Scuba and even Lolo keeps wanting to get nearer to the rabbit. Luckily for the rabbits, a lady took them home to foster and will be looking for a forever home for them.

How to make yourself less attractive

I don't know what is it with me recently, that all the dogs seem to have taken a liking (or rather, humping) to me. Kafv has started humping me again, and now Joey is jumping onto the bandwagon as well!

Joey: Maybe I'll try humping to see what all the hype is about...


I highly suspect it is the shampoo that Uncle C bought. So to counter the smell of the shampoo, I came up with this brillant plan yesterday to make myself less attractive. When my MM took me down for my toilet break last evening, I took the opportunity to roll in.... poop! Now, the theory is, with smelly poop smell on me, no longer will I be attractive.

Unfortunately, that also caused me to get a scolding, a kok on the head and.... another bath! My plan totally backfired! Or maybe not. You know what they say about dogs having good sense of smell? Well, Rafv turned his head away after taking a whiff at me, even after my bath. So I guess the shampoo could not cover the underlying poops smell. However, Tommy needs more work, he was as interested in me as ever.

Now, I wonder what smell would put Tommy off.... hmm, maybe the smell of rain?

Happy Birthday to Jack... and thanks to Chili

Well, first and foremost, a Happy Birthday to the grouchy big boss. He is now a ripe old age of... I dunno... ancient? Anyway, his age is not important. The important thing is Aunty G made dinner packs for us and a cake for Jack (which of course we got to share later).

Unfortunately for me, I got so anxious at gobbling down my food coz there were so many dogs around me, that I puked the lamb balls right out, about 30 seconds after I downed them. And before I could stop my M, she threw away the lamb balls. What a waste! I could have happily eaten it back in, since it's my own bile covering it after all. And to top it up, my M did not cook my dinner, since Aunty G is preparing dog food for us. All that delicious food, and it only managed to stay in my tummy for 30 seconds! Life is so unfair!

My M even had to ask Aunty V is there's any food for me. Luckily for me, Aunty G said that there's an extra packet of lamb balls. We were supposed to hold the party at the park and since it rained, Chili and Sugar couldn't make it. So nice Aunty HS told Aunty G to keep the food. Thank God for the rain! Or I would have been a hungry dog. So in the end I ate Chili's share. Thanks Chili!

Well, apparently, I feel that the food was still not enough, so when the humans were having their dinner, I tried to beg. But all thanks to Tommy and Rafv, who are now having some bad blood, they had to be kept separated. And because Tommy kept licking my ears recently, causing me to have a hotspot on my ear, he had to be kept separated from me. And guess where we were all kept? Rafv was in the balcony, Tommy was in the dining area with ALL the humans, and me, alone in the kitchen! Although I am the Kitchen God, I don't want to stay in the kitchen all alone! What's the point of staying in there when everyone who might feed me is out there in the dining room! Such a perfect begging chance, wasted on Tommy, who did not even make any attempt to beg! And there I was, trying my best to act pitiful through the kitchen door! I was so upset I could cry! Look at me! Don't I look pathetic?

Let me out.....


Well, I had to thank my lucky stars (or rather, Jack) that although I did not get to beg at the dining table, Aunty G made a very delicious birthday cake, which I shall not talk too much about. I'm sure old man Jack would talk about his cake once he get his old paws down to typing.

Life is good.... at least on Sunday.

Pictures!

Some pictures taken this morning at the dog run.

This is Kafv, and I think he looks more goofy than me. Hiak hiak hiak... I wonder why, he's taken a liking to me recently as well. Been trying to hump me, much to the horror of his owners. Must be my shampoo.

Me? Goofy?


There he is, running after me...

I'm gonna get you!


Gotcha!


And saw this border collie who keeps running after his ball..

Checkin' in

I think I'm a very lucky dog... really, I am! How many dogs can say that they have checked into a hotel before? Not smuggled in, but walking in through the front door? Anyway, I can't be smuggled anywhere even if I want to. I'm too big to fit into a carrier. My M always said that if she needs to smuggle me somewhere, this is the only thing that can fit me, and she'll still need to drill some holes in the bag so that I can breath.

Smuggle bag with wheels... for your poor aching back


Well, I managed to check myself into Four Seasons Hotel last year, courtesy of my M and MM, coz they were getting married there. Mind you, I almost could not attend their wedding. They had told the coordinator that I am a retriever, and I do not know what that guy was doing, thinking that I am a small dog. Oh yeah, I was small, about 6 years ago!

Apparently Four Seasons have a weight/ size limit for pets, and I am way beyond that limit. The coordinator asked my M if she could find someone to look after me, but it was the wedding day, everyone has been invited to it, who would be able to look after me? Besides, I don't want to miss the food!

Luckily, the coordinator told my M not to worry, they'll let me stay for the night, and maybe some arrangements could be made for me to be looked after by someone the next day. So there I was, checked into the suite. Check out the bed! It's the first, and also the last time my M allowed me onto their bed.

Big Bed!


They decided that I took up too much space on the bed while sleeping, and now the only bed I'm allowed onto is the sofa bed. Oh well, better make the best out of the king sized bed before I get chased away.

Can this be my permanent bed please?


It was soooo comfy, that I almost did not want to leave.

If I hide myself here, no one can find me and chase me away


After the wedding, my M and MM opened up all the Ang Pows they got and started counting the money. And I got to take photos with all that cash. Wow, I've never seen so much money at once before. Too bad they're not going into my pockets.

Now let's see, do I have change for a $50?


Now that I think about it, I've been to a wedding and a funeral. Yes, I've been to a funeral too, no one was pantang about it, and I'm sure Uncle Bob welcomed me and my friends to his funeral. We even sent him off at Mandai crematorium. Anyway, as I was saying, maybe if I go for 3 more weddings, I can shoot my very own, 4 Weddings and a funeral! I'll be the next Hugh Grant! Or Herbie T!

Anyone wants to invite me to their wedding? You'll be mentioned in the movie's credits.

Dogs and Asthma?

*Announcement: We interrupt the usual ditzy postings and bring to you a posting on a more serious note.*


My M was having a conversation online with her friend, and the topic went to dogs and asthma, after the said friend found out that I'm gonna get a brother. She expressed concern that dogs can cause asthma, or trigger it if the human's genes have asthma, and wonder how my M and MM will cope when they have kids in future.

Although many people have this idea that dogs (or rather, pets) can cause asthma, they do not realise that dogs do not CAUSE asthma. They can be a TRIGGER, because they are a common source of allergens, but they are not the cause. Compared to cats and rodents, dogs cause less allergiv sensitivity than other mammals. Other things like tobacco, dust, mould, or sometimes even temperature or emotions can trigger off an asthma attack. So before eliminating other possible causes of asthma attack, it can be very unfair to your pets if you decide to give them away or abandon them just because someone had an asthma attack. I know there are many families who will conveniently pin all the blame on the poor pet and decide to give them up, without even checking if the triggers could be due to other factors.

Even if the asthma is triggered off by pets, there are some things that can be done to minimise the impact of pet allergens. You can have a pet-free area in your house (most recommend the bedroom), frequent vacuuming and mopping will mininise the presence of allergen. Basically, have a clean house.

Also, latest research has shown that having a pet can make kids less likely to develop asthma or allergies. The researchers believe that exposing children to cats and dogs so early in their lives affects how their immune system develops. The result is that they have a lower risk of developing allergies and diseases associated with them, such as asthma.

The study of 474 children found that those exposed to two or more cats or dogs during the first year of life had half the risk of developing common allergies by age 7 than children who had not been exposed to pets. The children growing up with multiple pets had lower rates of allergies to pets, ragweed, grass and dust mites.

Another study also shows that dog exposure in infancy decreases the subsequent risk of frequent wheeze, although not of atopy.

Being a dog, of course I support the latter theory. And they did say that exposure to two or more cats or dogs will half the risk of developing allergies. I make one... and my brother will make two dogs. See? We're helping to lower the risk already! Besides, other medical benefits in having a dog is that we help to lower the possibility of heart disease, reduce stress, and some of us can even sniff out cancerous cells!


*Announcement: End of serious note, start of ditzyness.*

I think I shall become a doctor. Any idea if medical school accepts dogs? Or anyone wants me to sniff any cancerous cells? Preferably in the kitchen?


Note: Post with references from the following websites
Center for disease control and prevention
The Answer Bank
Personal MD
Paediatrics Journal

Habits are contagious

You know the chinese saying "近朱者赤，近墨者黑"? Which literally means, "One who goes near vermilion gets stained red, one who goes near ink gets stained black", which also means that, one will take on the behaviour of one's company.

I think we dogs have been seeing each other so often that we've taken on one another's habit.

Case No 1:
I don't know why, but whenever Scuba is scratched on his side, back, front, belly.... well, almost everywhere, his legs will start twitching. I've never really had an 'itchy' spot, unlike Scuba. But recently, in the past few months, I started having an 'itchy' spot as well. Everytime someone scratches my side, my legs will start twitching. Even when my M brushes me, I'll twitch as well.

Case No 2:
Tommy never had the habit of begging around the dining table. But recently he has taken to hovering near the table like the rest of us and begging for food. Darn, one more competitor!

Case No 3:
I never used to make too much noise when playing, but after playing wirh Rafv too much when I stayed over at Aunty V's house last year, I learnt to growl a bit when playing from Rafv. But now that I don't stay there, I've lost this habit.


I wonder if any of my good points (like calmness, peace-loving etc etc) has rubbed off on any of my friends (like Rafv and Tommy). Would any dog want to enrol in my meditation class? *ohmmmm*

Bath time

Just had my bath today, after 2 weeks. My M was supposed to bath me every week, but sometimes she gets lazy and I get bathed only once every 2 or sometimes 3 weeks, not that I'm complaining.

I just hope that Rafv won't be coming to our house tonight. I don't wanna be caught on video again.

*worried*


Now there's a new reason to hate bath days.

Am I Dumb?

No... not stupid dumb, which I'm sure many of you would think that was what I meant. I'm a smart dog ok? Although my M is sniggering at the thought that I would be smart. I subscribe to Mr Kiasu's philosophy, which is to "Act Blur, Think Smart".

Going back to the word dumb, what I meant was 'soundless', as in, I'm a very quiet dog. What made me suddenly think of this? Well, this morning, as my M was brushing me downstairs, we bumped into our neighbour, who commented that she has never heard me bark. My M told her that I'm a very quiet dog, and she asked if I'm a mute.

Which brings me to this story. In the following months after my M adopted me, she suddenly received a call from her dad at work. Mind you, it was such an important question that her dad could not wait til she comes home. He needs to find out immediately!

The first question he asked when she picked up the phone was "An zua li buay ji jia eh gao ting lai". For the benefit of those non- teochew speakers, it meant "Why did you bring a mute dog back?".

For a moment, my own beloved M became speechless too. I hope her dad didn't think that speechlessness was contagious. Anyway she assured him that I can bark, my voice box is still intact, it's just that I seldom bark. Until now, her dad has never heard me bark. Her mum only heard me bark once, and it was a singular bark.

Barking continuously is so tiring, I'd rather conserve my energy. And by not barking, the humans cannot teach me the 'speak' command. Just ask Tommy and Scuba now. They will have to 'speak' whenever the humans command them, so that they can get their favourite food or toy.

Me? I just act blur when they ask me to speak. Sooner or later, they will get sick of trying to teach me the command and give me the food anyway. See? Mr Kiasu's philisophy works. I don't have to bark like Tommy and Scuba but I still get what I want.

Now that's what I call smart.

Presenting.....

the three little pigs!!

Oink oink oink


or come to think of it, maybe not so little...
maybe fat...
maybe not 3 pigs... Rafv doesn't look like one
maybe the Big Bad Wolf and 2 pigs... but then we'll be short of one pig!

Any GR wants to audition for the part of pig? Tommy can't be in the show, coz I think Rafv will turn reel into real, and attempt to eat Tommy up.

In case anyone is wondering, the other pig is Mickey, or we sometimes call him mikimoto, coz his dad is a Jap like Aunty R. I heard from AUnty R last night that Mickey's ear was swollen, and they took him to the vet. I wonder how he is now. Get well soon Mickey! We need you in the play!

On a side note, see what I can do to Rafv. This is a posed photo but I risked life and limb to take it. If it were any other dog (with maybe the exception of Scuba), I think Rafv would have chomped off their head. But he let me put my legs around him, like a pillow.


How long more must I pose?


Actually, it's quite comfortable.... I almost fell asleep. And Rafv was even grinning in his sleep. *roll eyes*

We're the best of friends

Outing at WCDR

My M and MM took me to West Coast Dog Run on Saturday, a change from my usual dog run. Turned out that my M joined some photographer's outing. Luckily, the weather was good, coz it was raining over at our end, and my M actually thought of not going.

My usual friends were not there, but I met some new friends.

Hello...


dogs at play




Perpetually worried looking Ping Ping


unknown schnauzer

No more bad nail days!

Or so I hope.... As I've said before, my M is very bad at cutting nails, my nails, that is. She has no problem with her own nails.

Many a times, she has cut through my quick and caused my nails to bleed. Lucky for her, I am a sturdy dog, and have a high threshold of pain. Well, I remember the first time she made me bleed, she was in such a panic that the blood did not seem to stop flowing, and the blood stopper she bought had hardened up. She had to rush out to the petshop opposite the road to buy a new bottle of blood stopper.

By the time I waited for her to return.... guess what? I fell asleep.... from the long wait. Or maybe I fainted from the loss of blood. Well that was not the last time my nails bled. Over the years, I've lost count of the number of times they bled. And M my has become so hardened over the years that no longer will she panic. She will now just stuff cotton wool on the injured digit and continue with the rest of my nails with just a 'sorry'. Talk about heartless!

Well, maybe not so heartless. Aunty G told her that homefix is having a discount on the dremel pet nail grinder, and she bought one for me. Instead of cutting the nails, the grinder is supposed to file the nails. And the advantage is that it is less likely for my quick (which is the vein that supplies blood to my nails) to be cut, and the nails will be smooth, and less likely to scratch others.

No more bloody nails


All hail my new saviour!

Straits Times Article

My M, who never buys any newspapers (they usually come free courtesy of her family, or MM's family, or Aunty V), went to buy a copy to today's Sunday Times early in the morning. Apparently my blog was mentioned in the papers. Wow, on national papers!

She don't remember herself saying she's the pioneer of dog blogs. Apparently it was Aunty V who told the reporters she started it all.

Well, to read about it, go grab a copy from your newstands today.

For for new readers, welcome. And in case anyone still think M stands for Mummy, it's not. M is for Mistress, and MM is Master.

Kitchen God

I now have another new nickname. The humans are starting to call me the Kitchen God. And I'm sure you would know why I'm called that. Yes, that's because I'm always stuck in the kitchen.

For those who do not know what a Kitchen God is, here's a short write up from about.com

And I do work hard in my job! Here's all the pictures as proof! See how busy I am everyday, guarding the various kitchens!

Kitchen Inspection here


This is such a boring job...


There is absolutely nothing interesting going on in THAT kitchen


So all of you better be nice to me, give me more food and I will give you a good report to the Jade Emperor

Caught red-pawed

Remember what I said about Aunty R going to send me the video clip of Rafv humping me? Well, after much problems with mail boxes and stuff, my M finally got her hands on the clip.

Here's the evidence of my modesty being outraged, and the humans doing nothing but laugh, take video clips and photographs. Why do I have to stay with such a family? I totally give up! I don't even want to fight with them anymore. Look at my face in the clip, doesn't that say it all? sigh...

There I was, enjoying a rest on Aunty S's lap and this rafv have to come disturb me. I bet he was already scheming early in the evening. Look at him looking at innocent me!

tee hee hee... you're gonna be mine!


Look at that evil eyes, glinting with pleasure.




This is my first time uploading a video clip, so I'm not sure how well it will work. The clip may take some time to buffer, so what my M usually does is to click on the 'pause' button right at the beginning, let the clip download and buffer (can see the progress with the grey bar) and then press play once everything's downloaded.

As you can see, it's only when I showed some teeth that Rafv stopped. But he still wanted to stay close to me. The humans saw this picture and were thinking 'awww... Rafv is so sweet to Herbie!' Well, I beg to differ!

Can you be my pillow?


I can't remember which aunty said that it may be my shampoo, coz the last time rafv kept humping me was also after my shower. And guess what? The shampoo was bought from Uncle C (Rafv's daddy). I think this is part of Uncle C's evil plan to make Rafv play. Because no one else wants to play with Rafv, he makes ME be the scapegoat.

Evilness does run in the family...

Fan club members, fall in

Uncle J was telling my M that I now have a fan club. Apparently there are some kind souls out there who are willing to trade in a chicken for a pawtograph.

Anyone who wants a pawtograph, please send in your requests to herbiegr@gmail.com
Details on how to deliver the chicken will be sent to you. I prefer them in anyway, raw, cooked, steamed, boiled, baked. I'm never a fussy eater anyway.

For those who is considering giving me a whole pig or cow, I will throw in a 1 night stay at your home on top of the pawtograph.

*sniff sniff*

I know, after reading my previous post, some of you must be thinking "but don't dogs have a good sense of smell?"

Well, not all dogs do. We are categorised into many kinds of dogs, there's the sight hounds, scent hounds, gundogs, pointers, retrievers, terriers etc etc... So, since retrievers are not scent hounds, I don't have a very good sense of smell. Heck, I don't even have good eyesight! BUT! I have a very good sense of hearing. I can even hear a crisps bag open half a mile away, or even an egg crack!

An example of how bad I am can be proved in a game of hide and seek. My M used to bring me to the old park at Toa Payoh where there is a zig-zag bridge on the pond. Don't bother about finding the bridge now, the last I saw it, it was cordoned off.

She likes to play hide and seek with me there. When she sees me sniffing far away, she will run and squat down right at the corner of one of the zig-zags, and start calling my name.

I will run towards the sound of her voice and start looking for her. But it takes me almost forever to find her, even when she's almost right next to me! Here's a little diagram. The black circle is my M squatting down... the blue lines... well, ever read jap comic books? It's supposedly beads of cold sweat.

And the red arrows are the directions that I run in, for like say, 5 times each before my M gave up and stand up so that I can 'seek' her.



(M: Herbie is really, really bad at hide and seek. I was squatting there and I could see him zipping right past me, in front of my eyes, and 4-5 times and yet cannot find me. Talk about major blurness! *rolls eyes*

Lost

Reading Joey's blog about being lost reminds me of my own experience. It happened about 2 years ago. Let me tell you what happened, with the help of a little diagram.

Well, we lived on the 12th floor, but sometimes my M will take the lift to the 11th floor and walk up one floor if the lift on our floor happens to be busy. I usually memorise the way home, which is "go out the lift door, turn left, round the corner, up the stairs, out the door.... and home sweet home!

My M usually unleashes me in the estate when I'm going for my pee break (almost everyone in the estate knows me, that's how famous I am there.. hee hee). So on that fateful day, after my pee break, we took the lift which stopped on the 11th floor.

As you can see from the diagram, there are 2 staircases which are mirror images, leading to the same levels.

Floor plan


Unfortunately, on that day, someone on the 11th floor was moving, so there were lots of huge cartons and cupboards right in front of the lift. My M, having assumed that I would be following behind her, and also coz this is such a routine route that I should know my way, walked in front.

She took the correct route (red arrow) home but I was confused by all the boxes that instead of turning left, I turned right (pink arrow). The floor layout looked so similar that I made a wrong turn and went up the wrong flight of stairs. And promptly lost my way.

My M, on reaching the 12th floor and turning around, did not see me, so she went back down, calling me name. I could hear her calling but I couldn't make out where the voice was coming from. I ran up and down the stairs so many times that I got utterly confused. Each floor looks exactly the same!

My M wasn't too worried that I would get out of the estate coz she knows the security guards know who I belong to. So no matter what happens, I will be in the estate. But she had to climb up and down both flight of stairs 2-3 times looking for me and calling my name. I did try to respond by whining but I don't think she heard me.

In the end, I found my way home, but it looked kinda different. And I think some guests arrived while we were gone too. So I went to my M's room to rest and as expected, I soon heard my M calling my name! I ran out of the door.... and got smacked.

Blur me.... I went to the wrong house. No wonder the furniture looked so different. No wonder 'my room' looks so different. No wonder we had 'strangers' in our house.

My M then brought me back to our real house, and I got a thorough scolding for not following her.. and landing up in other people's house.

(M: I was walking my 4th round up the stairs when I heard someone said 'Who's dog is that?'. I ran towards the person and asked her if she found a dog. She said a dog ran into their house (their door was opened), went straigt into what was supposedly 'my room' (coz the building layout is all the same), plonked himself down and refused to move. Luckily the kids were overjoyed at having a dog come to their house. It was so embarrassing. I apologised to the parents (who were quite nice about it) and smacked him. So that at least the neighbours know I discipline the dog. This is one of the stupidest things he had done. I wonder why he did not realise the look and 'smell' of the house is different, maybe something wrong with his nose.

Dognapped?

I was dognapped yesterday.

No.... not really. It's just that M's mum came over when no one was home and took me back to the old house. My MM came home during lunch and found me gone and told my M. But did they panic? No!

Gosh, I wonder if they really do love me. Their precious dog gone and they did not start a dog-hunt? Their conversation goes something like this:

MM: Herbie got kidnapped. He's not at home.
M: Is it? You took him to my mum's place ah?
MM: No.
M: Or you put him at viv's place?
MM: No. He's not around when I came back.
M: Oh... maybe my mum took him back.

And that's it! No fear, no panic, no nothing! Well, my M did call up to make sure I was indeed at the old house, but still...

And to add insult to injury, my MM actually joked to my M and said 'What a stupid thief. Did not steal anything expensive but stole a pig instead.'

For the last time, I may eat a lot, sleep a lot, but I am definitely NOT a PIG!

Of humps and humps.....

Well, with yesterday being a rainy evening, my friends came over to my place instead. And with no park to expand our energy (not that I have a lot anyway), we ended up playing at home.

For those who were worried about Scuba after his surgery, fret not, for he has fully recovered. And I have the evidence to prove it. He's back to his old ways, stuffing his face into other's mouth, chewing his paws and..... humping. Yes, humping, not one, but two dogs.

Here's us trying to have a face to face talk... too much face to face, in fact.

Scuba: Mummph humph phhstt hmpuh mmumph
Me: Phffft muppfft humhhh pshtttt


Scuba's mummy doesn't let him chew his paw, so I think he made a pact with Tommy.

You chew my paw, and I'll chew your ear, deal?


Humping me... and Tommy. See, his belly is no longer too tender for humping.

Scuba: Another deal Tommy, distract Herbie while I hump him!


You cannot escape!


Tommy: Get away from me, you pervert!


Even Rafv joined into the humping game.... and guess who was the victim? Me again! But I shall post that on another day. Aunty R has filmed Rafv red-pawed, and she will be sending the evidence to my M. So I shall write about that once I get my paws on the evidence.

The Almost Sashimi

The humans went for a sumptious Japanese dinner last night and we dogs got to tag along. They ordered so much food that the waitress had to write on the 2nd page of her notepad! I think there were chawamushi, sukiyaki, sashimi, and a lot of other food which we would need Aunty R to translate, but she was at home nursing a sprained back. Her sprained back reminded my M of the time she sprained her own while carrying me... oops.

Anyway, without Aunty R around to explain the dishes, the humans just ordered. The sashimi was a big plate but coz not everyone eats raw stuff, the humans almost could not finish it. I was hoping someone would say 'feed the left over to the dogs, BARF!' But alas, those greedy humans managed to stuff themselves. It's not often that there are fresh, unmarinated food on the dinner table that are suitable for us. They get sashimi, what do I get? Watermelon and pork meat. Urgh! Not that I rejected the food tho... but still... the thought of fresh fish...

I think later the humans were glad they did not feed us the sashimi. It came up to a whopping $180 just for that. Why is that whopping I do not know, after all, dogs don't deal with money.

I heard that Rafv went with his daddy and mummy to a high class japanese restaurant opened by Aunty R's friend. I'm sure Aunty R secretly fed him some sashimi. Uncle C was saying that one sushi there could cost $30 (again money!) coz the fish's air flown. I wonder... how does fish fly? Or were they eating flying fish?

Shucks, and I thought I could tell Rafv that I had sashimi like him too! Now he'll just snigger at us coz he's the only dog who has eaten jap food. I want my Sashimi!

(M: Ya... You'll get your sashimi... I'll go market and buy the cheap fish for you.

Yoghurt

Some may not know, but yoghurt are good for dogs. No, not those flavoured kinds, although I would very much like a flavoured yoghurt. I'm talking about plain yoghurt.

Me and my friends have been saved from a bad tummyache by yoghurt on many occasions. It helps to normalise the bacteria in our intestines because of the presence of living culture. So whenever my M thinks I'm starting to get soft stools, she'll give me yoghurt. But I think that Scuba has them everyday. Lucky him!

Well, my tummy's not been very well the last week or so, so my M bought a humongous tub of yoghurt. I so look forward to my 'ice cream' treat everyday.

Eye power!


See how sweetly I am smiling at my M? I'm also using my special powers to make her give me the yoghurt earlier, and stop taking my pictures.


Finally!


I think now I'm about halfway down the tub. If I can time it in such a way that I get soft stools once the tub is finished, my M may have to buy me another humongous tub... hiak hiak hiak....

Free Dinners

Ever since Scuba has been discharged, he has been put on a strict diet of porridge to that his tummy won't be overworked.

However, that would mean the mixed rice with meat and veges that was pre-cooked for his dinner would be put to waste, since he can't take solids right now. What? Food put to waste? That's a SIN! But never fear, Aunty V has been inviting me over to Scuba's house for the last two nights to help finish up his dinner.

Poor Scuba, I think he digest porridge very quickly, because he always seems hungry these few days. Kept following the humans around to the kitchen, which he seldom does. And last night, when I was eating his dinner, I can see him licking his lips from the corner of my eyes. Aunty V even told my M that Scuba woke her up in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen.

The funny thing is, all the humans thought Scuba has lost weight, but when they weighed him the other night, his weight remained the same. Where did all that mass go?

Anyway, don't worry Scuba. Your porridge diet will soon be over. If not, I can always help you with your food. Hiak hiak hiak...

Power Dogs

You know, we dogs have special powers, although we usually try not to use our powers unless in extreme emergency. For me, my talent is in my Eye Power. Unfortunately for me, my M's telepathic powers are limited. Sometimes, no matter how hard I try, I find that there are certain signals that she just cannot received.

Based on some statistics I have complied, I realised the following about my M:

- 100% can receive "I got a tummy ache!!" signal
- 40% can receive "please open the door for me" signal
- 20% can receive "Can I have some of what you're eating?" signal

I don't know why the most important signal is the weakest!! Not to mean that the tummy ache signal is not important.

Everytime I have a tummyache in the middle of the night, I will walk to my M's side of the bed and STARE at her, without making any noise, not even whining. I just concentrate on my stare, and she will just wake up. Sometimes she pretends that she's dreaming and just pat me on the head and turn over to sleep, then I will start whining to let her know that I have to go... NOW. Until now, my M wonders why she will wake up even when I'm not making any noise, but she did not know that I had been using my powers.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get the same effect for the 'Feed Me' signal. It doesn't always work on my M. but I find that it works very well on Aunty S, Aunty V and Aunty R. Seems that most of the Aunties have fallen for my charms. I guess I'll just have to work harder on my M.

Excuse me while I go meditate.


Look into my eyes...

Poor Scuba!

Aunty V just told my M this morning that Scuba is now in Hospital. Scuba has not been feeling well the last two days, vomiting the food he ate and no appetite. So this morning, Aunty V made an appointment for Scuba to see his favourite vet, Dr Tan.

Turned out that there is a piece of bone stuck in Scuba's intestines. Dr Tan said that they would try to push the bone into the stomach, and if that fails, Scuba will have to undergo surgery.

Aunty V thinks that silly Scuba might have swallowed the oxtail he was given as treats coz he's afraid that Chewie might snatch. Chewie is now recovering from his surgery at Aunty V's house, coz Aunty S is there during the day to take care of him. Silly Scuba most likely did not remember that Chewie is behind the play pen and can't snatch his oxtail.

So the latest news now is that Scuba just underwent surgery. Aunty V's house is gonna be like a Hospital soon with so many injured/ sick dogs. I hope no more of my friends fall sick.

Get well soon Scuba!

Of Walks and Photography

My M likes to take photographs, but that doesn't mean she's any good at it. However, she always makes it a point to bring me along if possible. So far I've been to the Botanical Gardens with her to take the plants, to Changi to take the Sunrise (that was a torture! waking up even before the sun!), to Labrador Park to take the sunset, to Sentosa to take the beach, to Marina Promenade to take the bridge, to City Hall to take the esplanade and the merlion, to Benjamin Sheares Bridge to take the cityline.

The outings always started with me being very enthusiastic, but after a while it gets boring... for me at least.

Yesterday, I was brought to Bishan Park coz my M is meeting some of her friends to take pictures. I was initially a happy dog, looking forward to a nice, short walk and the nice weather.

Ahh.... the gentle breeze...


Imagining the frolicking in the grass that I would be doing...

Back scratch!


But instead, I was stuck waiting for my M while she takes stupid pictures of... insects....

Dragonfly... Who keeps flying off as she goes near.


and flowers....

At least these don'y fly away





I was bored to tears! Maybe the outing would be better for both of us if my M were to let me roam around the park while she takes her photos, and we can meet at, say, 11am at the bridge to go home. If only I can convince her that I won't get lost...

Are we done? Can we go home now? *yawn*

I passed!

My probation... I passed! Thanks to my strong will power, I controlled the urge to frantically scratch my head! So now I'm back to wearing a t-shirt, coz my M can't trust me enough not to chew my body yet.

Speaking of lampshades, my M and MM has been VERY bad to me the last few days, playing mind games with me. I know that whenever they are dressed up for work, it will be time to don the lampshade. So I've been trying to hide whenever they are dressing. But, a big dog like me has no place to hide! Some days my M will run after me with a gleeful smile on her face and the lampshade in her hand while I cower in the corner.

Some days they make me think that I don't have to wear the lampshade by saying their goodbyes and opening the door to leave the house. Just as I was heaving a hugh sigh of relief, they run back and pounce onto poor, unsuspecting me with the lampshade.

Sometimes both leave the house, and there I was, counting my lucky stars and getting comfy when my MM will come back 20 minutes later (after sending my M to work). Afterwhich the lampshade appears again when he's leaving for work.

This is absolute mental torture! And bad for my heart!

Can someone help get them an appointment with the psychologists? I think they need their heads checked. I tried calling but the receptionist couldn't understand my whines.

Probation

I am now on probation. Free from the dreaded lampshade at last and back to my t-shirt. My M thought I was really pitiful the last few days, so put me on a 1 day probation. If I scratch my head again, the lampshade goes back on til the weekend.

*crossing paws*

I MUST CONTROL MY PAWS!