Thursday, December 29, 2005

Christmas Line-up

Finally, after all the preparation and the hoo-ha, Christmas has come and gone. I've got lots of presents from all the uncles and aunties, and most of them food! Yummy! Too bad my M is not letting me have them all in one go. She says my tummy is too weak to take too many commercial food, and was complaining about my soft 'output' after eating too much treats. I tried to tell her that my tummy is not weak, it's just processing the food faster so that there's more room for more food.

Anyway, what I had was nothing compared to what the humans got to eat at Christmas. Look at how they indulged themselves? And we dogs only get treats! There were turkey (I think it's a must-have for Christmas), lamb, mashed potatoes, italian rice, chicken pies, pasta and cocktail desserts! I heard that Uncle Chris was supposed to make salad but Aunty Shel informed at the last minute to say he was sick and couldn't make it. Luckily for MM's brother, who is a vegetarian (what? Vegetarian? That's so boring!! I can't imagine life without meat!), his family cooked vegetarian pasta, or else he'll just have to stand there and watch the rest eat. New way of attaining enlightenment I would guess.

Look at the spread!

Look at the HUGE turkey! As usual, the humans over-estimated and there were left overs. Such a waste! We dogs never condone leftovers. If you leave it to us, we'll eat up everything! Even the bones and lick the plates clean so that you do not have to waste time and water and soap to wash them. That's how considerate we are. But of course, humans always think such food are not suitable for us. Luckily, they decided turkey is safe for dogs and I was given quite a bit. I even have left over turkey for dinner for the next few nights, not that I mind leftovers.

Finally, just before midnight, the aunties and M decided that I could open my presents. They say since I'm a dog, the rule for presents only on Christmas does not apply to me. Actually, Aunty V already let me unwrap and eat one of her presents as soon as she arrived(she gave me 2, lovely Aunty V, and Aunty G too). But before I could open them, I have to take a picture with them. What a bummer! I wanted to rip the packages open immediately! There's food in there!

Are we done yet? Can I open them now?

Let's see what I've got:
- Treats from Aunty W & Uncle M
- Milk chews from Aunty VJ
- Roo chews from Aunty Shel
- Treat ball and dried meat from Aunty G (oh NO!! WORK!)
- Shirt from Aunty V (Gucci somemore ok!)
- This sausage looking food from Aunty R and Uncle C
- A brand new bed from M!!

Do I look good in black?

My M specially requested for black shirt to match her wallet. If you ask me, the Gucci shirt does not match my LV leash and collar. I think I need a matching Gucci leash and collar to go with the shirt. Hmm... my birthday's in JANUARY. (hint... hint... HINT!!!)

I'm not gonna move....

My new bed... I's very comfy but I'm still not quite used to it yet. I think it's a bit too soft, and I'm too used to the hard floor. But it's a nice snuggle.... finally, my very own bed!

That's what I call a match!

Doesn't the bed match my fur color? My M chose that color so that my fur won't look so obvious on it when I shed.

And after Christmas, the next big event will be the New Year!

Do they give presents out during the New Year?

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Happy Christmas Eve!

Ohh.... I'm so excited! There's gonna be a christmas party at home today and I'm looking forward to finally opening our presents! I've got a brand new bed which my M just collected yesterday, but she said I can't sleep on it until tonight. A new cushy bed for my old old bones! Yippee! In case you can't see it, it's the beige cushion wrapped in plastic next to the tree.

I'm sure there'll be more stuff coming up soon. In the meantime, Happy Holidays!

Can't we open the presents already?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Hit and Run and Birthday Cakes

I was almost involved in a hit and run accident last night, literally. No need to worry for me, I'm not the victim. Actually, I was the one doing the (almost) hitting and running.

Well, what happened was, it was Chili's birthday celebration at the park yesterday, so we were all invited. I was walking off leash, and ambling along the path towards the dog run slowly. My M gave me permission to go off to the gate first but I preferred taking my own sweet time sniffing around..... until.... I heard the Aunties calling my name. They must have missed me, I did not go to the park for 2 days. Doesn't matter, they can wait.... but then, a very soft voice, carried by the wind, reached my ears. I heard Aunty H saying "Herbie, come, there's cake." Woahhhh.... wait a minute! Why did no one tell me there's CAKE??

I dashed off at a run towards the gate and almost knocked down 2 cyclists. Aunty V had to shout out "look out for bicycles!" but I don't care about bicycles, cake's more important!! Luckily I managed to avoid hitting them. For my effort, I was rewarded with an extra slice of cake coz Aunty H said that since I made such an effort to run, I should be rewarded.


Monday, December 19, 2005

Updates soon...

Lots of photos coming up soon... erm... as soon as my M can tear herself away from her new game... which is soon... I hope... erm....

Monday, December 12, 2005

Photos Photos Photos aka More Funny Things on Head!

This is one major photo-intensive post! My M finally found time to upload the photos after being so busy for the whole weekend!

We were all at Scuba's house because the humans decided they all want dinner. Let me tell you, Scuba is a very, very bad host. He kept falling asleep while we were at his house. Were we such boring company?

Make yourselves at home guys.... ZzzZZzz...

He even tried to continue sleeping as me and Tommy trampled over him. My ears were covered up coz thanks to Tommy's constant licking, I have a new hotspot on my ear. So Uncle J is holding my ear so that Tommy can't get to lick at it.

Can you guys like play somewhere else? I wanna sleeeep...

Aunty R then came up with the bright idea of letting me wear her hat so that my much abused ears can be protected. Aunty R is so smart! She tucked my ears in so that Tommy can't get at them.

kawaii ne.... they say I look like a Japanese dog

Unfortunately, this sparked off another bout of "funny things on head part 4". Aunty V dug out scuba's pair of doggles and I was made to wear them.

Just add another scarf, and I'll be the WW1 flying ace! or... was that snoopy?

Then they decided to change it to an FBI hat.

Sir, suspicious canine spotted!

And then without the hat....

Doncha mess with me

I was not the only one made to wear funny things on head... the rest were not spared either.


Most of us were made to wear this funny thing around our neck and on our head and forced to sit in front of the tree with the lights.

I'm having pre-christmas traumatic nightmare

And we were all dragged screaming and kicking to take group photos. Oh alright! We were not dragged... except for Scuba, who was still attempting to sleep.

Behind the scenes

And the final product was... all of us looking to the side of the camera instead of at the camera. Because we all think Uncle C has gone a bit bonkers. He was standing at the side with this pillow waving it around and telling all of us to stay. Only sleepyhead Scuba was still zoning out in space.

Erm... you guys think we should call 995?

I think Scuba finally expired from all the excitement. He looked quite dead and did not even move a muscle when prodded. I was quite worried for a while, until Rafv, who obviously is very used to Scuba behaving like this, reassured us that he is still very much alive.

Rigor mortis setting in

And remember how I kept saying Uncle C is sadistic? Look what he did to poor scuba! Replaced his family jewels! With bigger, brighter ones somemore!

Jingle balls, jingle balls...

On closer look, doesn't it look like 2 eyes and a nose?

Good day to you, Mr Balls

Scuba finally realised he's got a new set of balls.

I think I see myself in Scuba's balls

And Uncle C and Uncle J next turned their attention to Lolo. First they put her on the rocking horse...

Giddy up, horsie!

Then they made Scuba toy hump her...

Scuba, is that you?

I think forget about 995.... we should call 999 instead.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Jack & Joey

Well, Jack and Joey came over last night. I think their HC had something on and so she asked my M to look after them. Well, it was no fun with them around, especially with Jack. I was practically trotting home (I usually walk at a leisurely pace) coz I was afraid Jack would nip my butt. (M: Side note- Jack & Joey were walking behind Herbie's big butt. And I think his butt blocked their view, they kept trying to overtake him and Herbie, most likely attempting to get away from Jack, quickened his pace, so it went on for a while, with the dogs walking faster and faster, and me there struggling with a water bottle, a bag and 3 weaving dogs. :P )

Jack barked whenever the bedroom door was going to be opened, or when people outside walked past. My M scolded him 'No, Quiet!' a few times but he only stoped for a while then continue again. And he and Joey were sitting at the door almost the whole night. To think that the big BOSS is so insecure (hiak hiak hiak).

Not that I play with them in the first place, but having them around were BORING. The only good thing that happened was that thanks to them, I got fed cheese coz my M was trying to lure them to the room so had to entice them with food.

I think I would prefer Tommy, or Scuba or even naughty Rafv to play anytime.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Cover Dog

Finally, after the last few posts with such unglamourous pictures, my M finally found some time to take proper, nice pictures of me. As usual, I'm the guinea pig coz she's trying out her new 'backdrop'. If you ask me, it's just a piece of cloth held up by scotch tape.

Serious look

I like the shoots, coz I get extra treats to make me look at the camera. But I think I get cheated sometimes. I only get 1 treat for every 3-4 clicks of the camera. I shall have to think of how I can get a treat for every click.

Can I have the treat, like NOW? It's been ages...

Any other dog who wants to be tortured, auditions would be open soon.

Sunday, December 04, 2005


Tommy's been limping recently and there's lots of rumours and speculation why he's limping. Some say he's sprained his foot, others say he's hurt his ligament. And a few thinks that he has been playing and running and jumping too much.

But the truth is..... I bit him. I hope no one finds out. *cross paws*

Can I have some ketchup with that leg?

Friday, December 02, 2005

Jekyll and Hyde

Rummaging my photos, I found these 2 pictures that showcase how Rafv can be a Jekyll & Hyde.

Plotting the next move... hiak hiak hiak

Don't mind me, I'm just an oh so sweet cuddly bear

We dogs are better actors than you think.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Rafv the Schemer

You know how they always say Rafv seems to be forever plotting some evil plot. Well, it's true. He may not be after world domination, but he is out to make others look baaaad.

Rafv came over to play yesterday and that rude dog just jumped up the sofa as if it belonged to him. I was on the sofa first, and he 'pretended' to play with me. First his forelegs came up, then his back legs slowly inched up until he was totally on the sofa. And to add insult to injury, he bumped me off MY sofa!!

There I was, attempting to look cute with my front paws perched on the sofa arm rest, and that conniving Rafv pretending to look innocent.

Looking cute

When everyone else was busy talking, he gave me a quick push with his bum, and I tipped over the arm rest! I was hanging by my back legs on the arm rest, with half my body hanging out. Aunty G was sitting right in front of me and I looked at her with pleading eyes to save me but she quickly moved her legs away so that my nails would not accidently scratch her! Talk about chivalry nowadays! Humph!

Evil plan succeeded

I was totally unglam hanging on like that. And the humans just stood there and laughed and said "bad Rafv" but no one came to help me immediately. I hung there for a few seconds before they decided to free me from my predicament.

And Rafv has the cheek to post this encounter in his blog! I will have to think VERY hard if I want to invite him to my house in future! It will greatly depend on how much food Aunty R smuggles me.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Cirque Du Soleil

I decided that with the constant harrassment by my M and her family and her friends, I better start thinking of my future. I can't always threaten to run away to stay with Scuba, coz they will certainly find me there. Plus Uncle C is not much better.

Then, I suddenly had a brillant idea! I shall run away to join the circus! I'll get to travel all over the world and they will never, ever find me! MuahahAHAHA

There is only one problem. I don't know any 'circusy' tricks. I don't think sit, down, stay or heel count as circus stuff. Any Milo, Brownie or Coco can do such easy peasy stuff. I need something else! I decided to engage the help of professional circus trainer to help me in my quest. I will master the art of sitting on a wooden stool! Stop laughing! This is not easy ok, especially when you're big dog with 4 legs and a big butt plus a long tail.

And this, my young Jedi, is how you teach an old dog new tricks

Ohhh.... I did not expect it to be so high up here. And I think half of my butt's sticking out of the chair. And it's not comfortable at all sitting on your own tail. But at least I am balancing, precariously, on the wooden stool. Ok, now I have to smile for the audience... it's not easy to smile when I'm quavering on my paws. *forced grin*


Finally, with much determination, I passed through the course. I even managed to do a handshake while perched on the stool.

Congratulations, you've succesfully graduated.

Yipee!! Now that I am a successful stool performer (somehow this term sounds kinda funny, and distractingly like some anal activity... hmm...) I can join the circus! Wait, what do you mean that circus now don't use animal performers anymore? And what's this about quarantine laws? Darn! Does that mean I can't join the circus anymore?

I wonder if the zoo needs any stool performing dog.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Mr Congeniality

I don't know why Aunty G and Aunty W keep saying that I start fights. Since when do I start fight? The few rare occasions where I have been involved in a fight was because the other dog was humping me. The only times I get into fights are when:

  • I am eating and another dog comes too close. Small treats are fine but don't come near me when I'm having dinner, or bones, or food that requires time to chew. I'll assume you're here to snatch my food and I would KILL to protect my food.
  • When unknown, large, male dogs hump me. Excuse me, if it's the 1st or 2nd time I'm seeing you, don't hump me. We're not that good friends yet. Of couse, I don't mind if you're my friends, or female, or smaller sized. In fact, I quite like it when my friends do that, it's like a bum rub.

See? All my fights started because of self defence, or to protect my property. I NEVER start fights. But Aunty G and Aunty W insists that I am the cause of fights. Apparently, I have caused 2 separate fights because the dogs were both trying to play with me. So now the owners have to make sure the dogs play with me individually and not together. And now one of the fighting pairs have become arch enemies because of me. They can't stand each other's sight and has to be separated all the time.

Sigh... I can't help it that I'm popular, and everyone wants to play with me. If they can learn to share, we'll all have a smashing good time together.

Angels don't fight

Thursday, November 24, 2005

All I want for Christmas is...

I don't think I'm gonna enjoy this Christmas very much.

Last Christmas was fantastic, everyone gave me food as Christmas presents, since I don't like toys, and there's not much nice clothes for big dogs like me. Since I'm such a foodie, I got lots and lots of treats!

But I overheard last night, Aunty G was telling my M that she's not getting treats for me. She's got something else planned. And I think Aunty V's getting me clothes. And Aunty W mentioned buying a bowl or something! Is there no one getting me food??? Is there a gift exchange service anywhere around here?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Funny things on head - Part Trois

I know it is christmas soon and all, but why am I the only one suffering during this festive occasion? First there was the
milk maid look, followed by the stupid reindeer look, and now, I've become a tree!

Can't u guys tell the difference between a dog and a tree?

We were at MM's parent's home and they were putting up the decorations on the tree, when my sadistic M decided to put the deco on me. The rest soon joined in, adding a few balls here, a candy there, and a star too! The indignity I have to go thru with this family! I have half a mind to pack my bags and run away from home. Maybe I'll go stay with Scuba. At least they don't make me wear stupid things... with the exception of Uncle C. He's scary I tell you. There was once he posed with Lolo, who was on a stick on top of the bbq pit, pretending to bbq her.

Why do I always have stupid things on my head?

To add to the insult, they went to take the camera and starting taking pictures of me! Why am I not surprised? Nowadays they keep taking photos of me not at my best. Sigh... I dread to think about Chinese New Year decorations. I wonder what will I end up as...

If I stay real still and pretend to be dead, will they take these off?

Monday, November 21, 2005

ohh.... where has everyone gone?

I'm having a bad tummyache and no one's home! Who's gonna bring me to the toilet? And there's no newspapers on the floor! Ohh... bad, bad tummy.... Must have eaten too much treats last night. I can't help it, the neighbour's kid was running around with the treat bag, I just HAVE to follow him and get my treats.

And I had more treats this morning too.... my M put it in the
ball and I spent half the morning rolling it around.

Oh dear, I don't think I can hold it in anymore! Is ANYone gonna come home soon? Arghh! Find a clean spot, find a clean spot! Nope, can't do it on the carpet, they'll kill me. Can't do it in the bedroom too! Where? WHERE? WHERE!!??


I hope the living room will be an acceptable place....

(M: We came home to a splattered pile of poo, spreading into a radius of about 60cm, picasso painting on the wall, 2 puddles of unknown greenish fluid. No, the dog did not get killed. It was not his fault as he usually could hold his bowels well, and we did not expect him to have tummyache so we did not put papers for him. But cleaning up the house was a torture. At least he looked sorry about it. MM was saying Herbie was whining as soon as he got home. We decided not to post photos of the crime scene as we understand you guys still want to keep your food in.)

It was an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny...

red polka dotted ball... that Aunty G lent my M. She said Jack and Joey loves it. I wonder what it is... doesn't seem interesting. I've got no inclination towards balls (with the exception of the odd tennis balls, so I wonder why my M got it for me.

What's this? Is it edible?

It turned out to be a treat ball! There were dried meat in there (courtesy of Aunty G) but it's not easy to take the food out. There's a little hole at the top of the ball, and the size of the hole can be adjusted. I'm supposed to roll the ball around so that food will drop out of the hole. This is hard work I tell you... gotta keep pushing with my nose, and sometimes the ball gets stuck under the chairs. No worries there, with my eye power, I could make my M go and roll the ball back out for me.

I think from now on, no more easy breakfast for me. I think I heard my M says I'm gonna have to work for my food from now on. Who has the number to the Ministry of Manpower?

Can't they make the hole bigger?

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I see the light...

... or rather, many flashes of light. My M just bought some stuff and was busy setting them up over the weekend. She was putting up poles and umbrellas and carrying the coffee table into the empty room. I wondered what she was doing, even taking out my blanket (with compliments from SIA) and using it to cover that coffee table. Are we so poor now that we have to use my blanket as a table cloth?

I began to see a bit of the light, when she carried me up on the table. I don't like being on the table, it's not very comfortable and I can't stretch out fully. And suddenly, there was lightning! Right in the room!

Wazzat? Lightning?

Oh, it turned out to be the flash. My M is trying out her new studio lights and I'm the guinea pig. She even made me wear a stupid reindeer antler and beard (Aunty G was asking since when do reindeers have beard? I don't know, I've never seen a reindeer before, are they edible?)

My M says she's gonna send out my pictures for christmas. This is embarrassing... why do they always make me wear funny things?

Can I take this off now?

I don't think this is the last that I will see of the studio. My M was even planning on getting more 'props. Think she's going to go around borrowing some more balls and toys and cloths to torture me.

woe is me...

Nevermind, I take consolation in the fact that after me, she will start grabbing my friends to be guinea pigs.... I wonder how Rafv will look like in reindeer outfit...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Plan B

Well, I mentioned that I will explain what, and how my Plan B worked. As it was, I was lying at home with the lampshade, conceptualising Plan B, when a light bulb popped over my head.


Remembered that I've said before that drool will collect on the lampshade and let me have a wet chin? Well, that day, I decided to just let my saliva flow freely, so I ended up with a really damp chin, and I kept rubbing my neck on the lampshade so that the skin would appear reddish.

My M saw the extra wet chin that evening, and on inspection, saw the red skin and she was worried that I might end up with a new hotspot on my neck. So now she is in a dilemma. Shall she continue to let me wear the lampshade so that I will not lick the hotspot near my butt, but risk me getting a new one on my neck, or shall she remove the lampshade and risk me licking my butt? She is truly caught between the rock and a hard place!

At Aunty G's suggestion, she decided to let me wear a tee. Aunty G guessed that being so lazy, I would not want to flip up the tee to lick. Well, she is quite right on that score... it's not easy to stuff my muzzle under the tee, takes an acrobat to do that, I tell you!

Anyway, here's my new look, wearing my MM's old polo tee. Don't I look smart? Now, if only I can convince them to give me a tie instead of a leash....

Ahhh..... saved from the lampshade...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

AVA Responsible Pet Ownership Roadshow

My M found out that there's gonna be a Responsible Pet Ownership Roadshow at Ngee Ann City by AVA.

I wonder if I will get to go. It's been a loooong time since I went to Orchard Road, the last time being the Breast Cancer Charity Walk. The theme is "Sterilise Your Pets". Luckily I'm already sterilised, so I will fit into the theme very well. :)

AVA Poster

For those who can't see the poster, it's from 26-27 Nov, 10am to 10pm at Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza

Who's that Girl?

I hate Rafv.
And his mummy.
And his daddy
And Aunty G.
And my M.
And all those who laughed.

Look what they did to me!!! Such indignity!

Milk Maid

Let me repeat:

I hate Rafv.... for putting up that pic in his blog
And his mummy.... for having a camera and taking that pic
And his daddy.... for providing that stupid looking basket with flowers
And Aunty G.... for putting on Joey's t-shirt on my head and making me look like a granny
And my M.... for letting them do it to me

And to the rest of you.... STOP LAUGHING!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It worked!!!

My Plan B worked!!! But I can't talk about it yet coz my M is busy upgrading my blog. See the whole new look?

She knows nuts about html and is now cross eyed from reading the codes. And she's complaining that the internet is moving at slower than a snail's pace. She says I can only continue to write after she's done.

But I don't care! I'm happy! I'm FREE!! The lampshade's off!! And I'll tell u why later!

(Born) Free.... as free as the wind blows...
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Monday, November 14, 2005

Scuba's House

Oh I jus LURVEEEEE to go to Scuba's house. There's always food to eat and dogs to play with. At Scuba's invitation, my M brought me over on Saturday. As soon as I stepped in, I was greeted by Rafv and Scuba. Then Aunty S took me to the kitchen and gave me a rawhide. I lurveeeee Aunty S too!


We played and rested, played and rested, and later Uncle C and Aunty R (Rafv's daddy and mummy) came to bring us to the dog run. Most importantly, they fed me again before we left! Aunty R gave some dog treats and Uncle C shared with me his cheese. After park, we went back to Scuba's house and Aunty S fed us dinner.

Unfortunately, when my M came to pick me up, Aunty S told her I already had dinner. Darn! And I thought I could have 2 dinners in one night!

It was a fun day for me. When can I visit Scuba again?

Sunday, November 13, 2005


What a lazy Sunday afternoon.... I can't even keep my eyes open..

It's so nice sleeping on the carpet, with the air-con gently ruffling my fur...

Huh? blog more? That will have to wait... until after my nap...

Had a great time yesterday at Scuba's house. Will tell more later... *yawn*... maybe Scuba or Rafv will have something to say.... in the mean time, I'm gonna.... *snore.......*