Blondie and Mag

Blondie is me! My M wanted to see if me and Casper really look alike, so she said bleached me. But funny, the last time I went to the bleach was in August, and I did not become a blond. I think maybe she secretly bleached me when I was asleep.



How do I look as a blond? I hope I'm not gonna look like a dumb blond, coz the humans are already calling me silly boi. I don't want to be dumb AND silly.

Oh, and guess what my M found in a magazine? It's a peekture of our family, but we were all doing different things, and my MM was not around. It's actually an article about the things we can do at the park, and the reporter wrote about socialising dogs at the park.



I think it was a weekend morning, coz my big brother Herbie was still a little damp from our bath. And I think he looked disgruntled coz he's wet and no one is feeding him.

Look at his grouchy face!



But I was having fun playing in the park. Contrary to what Aunty Sarah said, I was NOT humping. I was just jumping. Really! Ask my big brother herbie if you don't believe me!

Me, gentle toy boi

A few of my M's friends were surprised that most of my toys are still intact after several months. They only require minor surgery to patch up the insides, and some of them still can squeak!

This is what I got from Aunty G and Aunty W the first few days I arrived 7 months ago.

My welcome pack


These are some of the same toys now.



My M forgot to include the big aqua bone in the peekture, but you can see that most of my other toys are still in 1 piece, just a little dirty and de-furred.

How do I keep my toys in such good condition? Well, I don't like shaking them or tugging at them. I like holding them in my mouth to siak up my saliva, and nibble on the knobbly parts. Sometimes I try to de-fur them by pulling out the furry bits with my front teeth.

So I'm a gentle toy boi!

But the bad thing is, I don't get my toys replaced so often.

Peas in a Pod

I met up with my litter brother Casper recently! I have not seen Casper since our last meeting at the park and he has become BIG! He's now 28kg, while I'm still 22kg. Casper has always been bigger than me since we were young, plus now he finishes up his sibling's food whenever they can't finish it. His humans are now trying to put him on a diet.

So after a frantic bout of butt sniffing with everyone, we played for a little while. Casper's family took out a lot of toys and started throwing it to us, and Casper ran away with a rope toy I was interested in, so I tried to get it from him. He's big, but he can run fast as well!



Casper's dad was singing a song about us going around the dining table. I don't know why the humans thought it's so funny to see us play.

Then when we're finally a bit tired, we took peektures again! Here's me with Casper's human and doggie siblings.

L-R: Reby, Pebbles, Casper, ME!


Then we took some brotherly peektures. The humans all say we look very alike, only difference is our color. Can you see if we look alike?

Peas in a pod!


Same smile!


The humans also say that we wag the same. We don't only wag our tail, but we wag our waist as well. Casper's mum said we could have inherited our tails from our doggie dad. Here's what a show judge said about our doggie dad:

"'Bailey' is a wonderful dog to show...he enjoys the show ring and his tail is like a lethal weapon!!"

So watch out! Me and my brother has got Lethal Weapons!

I'm a sowie shredder

I've been a bad boi yesterday. My M and MM came home to find this.



I thought newspaper on floor = toy, so I played with the newspaper. But the newspaper is a bad player because he break up so fast. Although my M didn't kok my head, but I was sowie that I made her angwee. I try to give her my sowie-est look and my bone toy to show how sowie I was.



I think it worked coz she just went 'ah ah' a few more times then gave me my dinner.

I'm sowie I killed the newspaper.

RIP.

PS: I mean, Rest In Pease, newspaper, not Rip as in shred. Really!

Sketch Peektures!

Amber's very artisitcally talented mum drew very nice sketch peekture of me and my big brother herbie. But Mr Postman crumpled it a little when he tried to squeeze it into our letterbox.

Here's my handsome big brother



drawn from this peekture



and this is handsome me!



from this peekture



Look like us, ya?

Thank yew, Amber's mummy!

Race King!

My MM went to Amber and Boo's house to race with Tommy and Huskee's dad yesterday. I told him I wanna go as well so that I can thank Amber for ther very nice peektures her mum drew (will post it up later) and to join Boo's parents weeding day but my MM says he's not going to their house, just their country.

My MM also says that he can't drop me off at their house because I don't have a passport and if I go over, I will be jailed. (M: Quarantined!!) So I have to stay at home. But my MM gave me a very important job of testing his racer helmet. He says that since Herbie is not here to do funny things on head, I must take over the job. So I say if this is my big brother Herbie's important job, I will do it too! (Divine Herbie: I think someone got cheated here....)



I tell my MM, helmet very good, but too big, and it make me close one eye so it's dangerous. I need to prop the helmet up with me Eli-phant so that it won't drop down. I say he need a smaller helmet. But I don't know why they just laughed and still took the helmet anyway.

I think they don't really need my advice, do they?

Who is more afraid?

My M says I'm a scardey cat. Why is she calling me a cat again? She's been calling me that since Wed night, after she took me to the nearby coffeeshop to buy dinner.

It happened like this:
My M went to buy dinner, so she put me on a down-stay on the pavement while she went to collect the food. See diagram below:



I was initialy on the right of the empty table, and there's a family of 4 at the next table. I was quite near the pavement, and sniffing the yummy floor, when 2 big men saw 1 big man (the black dots) and they shouted to one another. (M: Actually, they're friends who bumped into each other and were calling out greetings)

Then the men started walking towards each other. I think they wanna fight so I went to rest at a safer place. Follow the paws to see my new resting place. (M: Actually, he was scurrying to the other side of the table with his butt tucked in, looking at the 3 men warily)

Then the family saw all of these, and they said this when they saw me coming nearer to their table:

Little girl (pink dot) : I scared he run over and bite me
Father (blue dot) : He more scared than you

So that's how I ended up being a cat. If only my big brother herbie was here, he'll pawtect me from scary big men.
(Divine Herbie: If I was there, I'll be ignoring them totally. I'll just lie in the middle of the pavement. Try and get me to scurry away just coz they wanted to chat? Over my dead body! Oh wait, was that supposed to be literally or figuratively?)

(M: I think Helios is afraid of loud/ coarse men. He's ok with tall, soft spoken men but tends to cringe with people who are not so 'refined'. It's strange since I don't remember he's had any bad experiences with them. Or it may just be the loudness, because Helios tends to jump at sudden loud noises as well.

I wanna be a dog again. How can I become a dog again?

Learn from the best!

My last post some doggies asked if I'm always this nice. I am, I am! Because I learn from the best! My big brother Herbie is a nice boi. He tell me I must share, and I must not disturb other doggies when eating, so I listen to him, coz he is veri wise.

See, I learn from him to eat my own bone and not go disturb others. Tommy oso a nice boi coz he doesn't disturb. We are all nice bois! See, we don't even disturb ginger!



My big brother herbie has very strong teeth, he goes 'crack crack' with the bone. I can't do that, I eat all the meat from the bone then I leave the bone there. Maybe I will dream of my big brother herbie and ask him to teach me how to crack bones.

Good friends share!

Me and Scuba good friends, so I share my toy toy with him. We take turns chewing, then sometimes we chew together.



I wonder if Scuba will share his dinner with me....

Herbie's Home

My big brother Herbie came home tonight. So I went to accompany him for a while in his new resting place. (M: Helios actually automatically went to that corner and lied down for a while after we placed Herbie's ashes there.)



My M says since Herbie didn't get to wear the new collar in the past, he'll get to wear it now. And because the bowl is too big to fit into the hole, she took up a nice DWB doggie's suggestion to put a peekture of his bowl there. And she decided to add bagels as well.

So here's my big brother Herbie with all his worldly possessions.



Welcome home, big brother!

Tommy Bully Helios

Yes, Tommy Bully Me, and this is what happened:



It's Bully the MBT who went to stay with Scuba coz her humans went on a holly-day. So the 3 of us played. Us 3, Tommy Bully Helios, not Tommy bully Helios, got the diff? Then Scuba joined in, so it's Tommy Bully Helios Scuba. I'm getting confused myself, am I making scents?

Today will be exactly a week since my big brother Herbie moved away. Time seems to go by so fast. I miss my big brother but I must be a big boi now.

My M heard of this chinese song, by this Taiwanese singer called Ella, and her pug Qiang Qiang moved away as well. So she wrote a song for her pug.



My M thinks it's a very nice song for all the dogs who moved away to stay at rainbow bridge. I think she started to leak a little when writing this again, and I thought I plugged all the holes.

The song goes:

蔷蔷，我们都很想念你~要在天堂保佑你的妈咪~
Qiang Qiang, all of us miss you~ you must protect your Mummy from Heaven

还记得你喜欢咬著我的手
I still remember you liked to nibble my hands

然后给我你嘴里的球
And give me the ball in your mouth

要我陪你玩丢丢
Asking me to play fetch with you

你喜欢我摸摸你的小耳朵
You loved it when I touch your little ears

窝在我的身旁
Snuggling up next to me

没有烦忧
Without a worry

在梦裏遨游
Soaring in your dreams

好狗狗 好狗狗
Good doggie, Good doggie

谢谢你陪妈咪这么久
Thank you for accompanying Mummy for so long

你并没有离开我
You have not left me

是搬到天堂生活
You just moved to Heaven to live

蔷蔷你要记得我
Qiang Qiang, you must remember me

你不要走丢
Don't get lost

快快找到天使
Find an angel quickly

在天堂给我保佑
And protect me from Heaven

蔷蔷不要忘了我
Qiang Qiang, do not forget me

还有亲爱的阿姨叔叔和你的朋友
And your beloved aunties, uncles and your friends

你永远活在记忆中
You'll live forever in our memories

Me, big Boi!

My big brother Herbie says that now that he's moving away, I will have to be the big boi now and take care of the family. And I will help him maintain his blog.

My M has been quite leaky these few days, so as the big boi of the family, I have to make her happy.

So I poke my eye with my new toy.

Thank You

Yes, I know I'm supposed to be gone and not posting anymore, but I saw something and I felt I just have to leave a divine message here.

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for your prayers and kind words to me and my family. I would have tried to console my M that I'm in a better place but then again, she's never those spiritually attuned kind of people so I don't think I can manage to pass her any message.

The humans had a lunch gathering yesterday in my memory, which is good since I love food. They talked about me with love and joked about me as if I'm still there, saying what I would have been doing. Aunty G even allowed Jack and Joey to beg and eat from the lunch table (somethint which she NEVER does) because that would be something that I do, and the lunch is in my memory after all. I think J&J should thank me for that when it's their turn to join me at the rainbow bridge. Aunty G even said that since Jack likes guarding the gate so much, I should reserve a place for him at Heaven's gate. But I'll pity all those timid dogs coming to Heaven who go there because grouchy Jack will bark at all of them.

Uncle M tried to teach Helios how to speak. Unbeknownst to them, before I left, I have already taught Helios my philisophy in life, which is to 'Act Blur, Think Smart'. The less you pretend to know, the less the humans can make you do tricks for a miserable amount of treat. I'm glad that Helios has listened to my teaching and refused to bark.

Huskee's family offered condolences to my M and gave her, besides cards, a nice bear.



and because she said she got a headache from crying, they got her these as well:



They even got Helios a toy!



And Aunty G had bought this for me as a christmas gift, but now she gave it to my M. It's a January golden.



Isn't it nice? But I hope Aunty G had planned to give me something more than the figurine. I mean, it's nice, but it's not EDIBLE.

What baffled me is that, I'm the one who died here, how come they are the ones getting presents? What kind of logic is that? Shouldn't I be getting something, like food? Can't they do an airmail to Heaven? I know I'm supposed to have lots of food here, but there's no harm having MORE.

(M: I'm slowly getting to terms with Herbie leaving. Sometimes I pretend that he's still at Scuba's house, that's why he's not home, then I remember that he's never coming home. I'm ok with a conversation with friends as long as they don't talk about Herbie. Because, sometimes I can talk about him, but sometimes something will trigger off and the tears start.

The nights are the worse, and times when I'm alone. I try to do mundane things to take my mind off. But in the quiet of night, as I lay in bed, I can only think about him. How I can never say goodnight to him again. Herbie had a habit of sleeping on his bed once we go into the room for about 5 minutes, then he'll walk to the other end of the room to sleep on the floor, and throughout the night he'll alternate his sleeping places. I keep imagining the tipaty-tap of his nails as he walks across the floor. I keep getting up early in the morning and once I remember he's gone, I can't get back to sleep.

Sometimes it's the smallest thing that can trigger me off. I try to remember the fond times I had with him, then I realise I'm never gonna do that with him again. When I think about how I will never be able to cut his nails (H:Thank got for that! You're a baaaad nail cutter!), or hug him, or bring him along as I take photos. A friend told me around the time Herbie began to get sick that her dogs loves Macdonalds Ice Cream and sometimes she'll give it to them as a treat. And I said, one day, I'll bring Herbie and Helios to our nearest Mac for a cone. I waited for Herbie to get better for the nice long walk, but he never did. And he left without eating Macdonalds. (H: Darn!)

His final resting place will never feel the same again. I look at the spot and I remember that's the place he chose to lie down and leave.

I'm glad that I took so many photos of him when he was alive, because there will never be another Herbie.

Thoughts...

I guess this will be the last time I use this name to log in and post here. Gone will be the cynical wise old man who has the audacity to make snide remarks about his human.

Herbie was rejecting food the last 2 days, and I was planning to bring him to the vet this morning. Unfortunately, he left in the middle of the night. My husband said that Herbie was already gone when he went to the kitchen at about 1:30am, and he struggled with the decision whether to wake me up to tell me. In the end he decided against it, because it's the middle of the night, we might not get any pet cremation services and I'll be crying the whole night instead.

Because of the plan to visit the vet, we took him home from Scuba's place last night. I had to carry him down the stairs because he was too weak to walk much. G had suggested that we take him to the vet last night, but as it was already 9pm, I thought I could wait til morning.

I guess Herbie wanted to pass on in his own house. That's why he left a few hours after he reached home. He didn't sleep in our room, because of the aircon. When I left him last night, he was in our study room. But he came to our door and lied down and left. I guess that's the closest he could get to us. I'm sorry that I wasn't with him in his last hours. He was lying on his side, and it almost seemed that he's just sleeping, but without the noisy breathing.

Herbie is the best dog that one can have. He's patient, virtually without temper, quiet and non-imposing. He's also the easiest to feed, when he was healthy. I will miss his ultimate begging look. He's the only dog I personally know who will plonk his head on your lap to beg.



I will miss him sleeping in his favourite spot in the room. I will miss him trying to squeeze his way in while begging. I'll miss giving him his butt rubs and scratching his itchy spot. I'll miss dragging him out to sea. I'll miss bullying him and putting things on his head. I will miss him lying in his roast pig position. I will miss him running into the kitchen once he hears food. I'll miss how he likes to plonk himself down in the middle of the room or passageway, blocking everyone else. I'll miss how he tries to go table by table begging at restaurents or gatherings.

Helios seems totally oblivious to what's going on. Guess he's still young.

I'm sorta holding on well, sometimes I feel that I'm ok, then some things will trigger the memories and I'll start crying. I've been crying so much that I'm getting a headache.

Of course I console myself that at least he died at home. At least he only suffered the last 2 days. Previous weeks he was still able to eat a little. At least I don't have to make the difficult decision whether to put him to sleep if he's suffering. At least he's got a few good years with me.

There are things which I have not done. I bought a new collar with his name sewn on it, but never got around to letting him wear it, because I've always thought there'll be a 'next time'. He didn't even get to wear that collar once.

It seems so cold when the pet cremation people came and slip him into a black bag and tied it up. It seems undignified to be carried away in a black bag, but I guess for dogs here there's not much of a choice. He'll be cremated within 24 hours, and we'll be collecting his ashes. I'll place it in a corner near the dining table. I guess there's the place he likes to hang out the most.

Life has to go on, I still have Helios to take care of. I guess it helps where there's another dog and you have routines to follow.

Thanks for friends who came to visit, and to see him for the last time. And my mum who came down and said prayers for him.

Bye Herbie. Be a good boy. I love you.

Bye Bye Herbie

Herbie left us, in the middle of the night. Thanks for everyone's well wishes and prayers. I'll say somemore once I've recollected my thoughts.



Bye, Herbie. I miss you already.

Where's my brother?

I've been home all alone these 2 days. My big brother Herbie went to stay with Scuba coz he's sick. We went to Scuba's house yesterday and Aunty S said that herbie refused to eat the whole day, so my M had to force feed him his dinner. He managed to eat only half, so I got the other half. They also gave him some high energy supplement, but they gotta stuff it down his throat too.

I think my brother is getting weak. My M told me to give herbie back his appetite, but I don't know how. I'm always hungry and I can eat and eat and eat. My M says I'm getting fatter coz I'm eating my brother's leftovers.

I want my big brother back.

Urgh!

I don't know what else to say after my review yesterday.

I just had a few more chest x-rays done, and there's no improvement. The vet says that with antibiotics, there's supposed to be a significant improvement in about 10 days. I've lost weight again as well, and now I'm 21.8kg. The vet painted quite a bleak picture. He said that if there's no improvement, I might just weaken and go in a few months. He also said it might still be cancer,but not necessarily lymphoma, maybe some other kind but there's no way to test without a tissue sample.

He gave some options, which is not really much of an option if you ask me.

Option 1: Least invasive
Change antibiotics, see if another kind works. And give anti fungal medication as well. Usually antibiotics will take about a week and anti fungal about 2 weeks to see effects. So if no improvement by then, it's not working.

Option 2: Not so invasive
More tests, blood culture, nasal discharge, treachea wash... but most of these has been done, and we may or may not see anything again.

Option 3: Invasive
Scope. Put a scope deeper into the lungs and see if they can take any samples from the linings. It's similar to the treachea wash I did last week, just in another area deeper, and with a scope. I think he calls it bronchoscope. They will drown a portion of my lungs and extract the fluid for tests, but it's risky because during the procedure, that part of the lungs will not be working to give me air, and they cannot pump air into me.

Option 4: Extremely invasive
Open chest surgery. The most risky as well, with my condition now, he said it's a 50-50 chance I may not survive. They will take a tissue sample for tests. He explained that the area surrounding the lungs is empty, but if you open up the chest, we're introducing air into the area, and although there's a pipe pumping out the air, there's still a possibility that air will leak from somewhere, fill up the void and compress the lungs.

For now my M opted for option 1. The humans seem to think I'm improving, but extremely slowly, but the chest xray doesn't show that at all. My appetite is still on and off, so my M left me in Scuba's house today so that Aunty S can try to feed me small meals throughout the day.

After all these tests done, and no one knows what's wrong with me! The vet said I'm a complicated case. I don't want to be complicated, I want to be simple!

Can someone just tell me what's wrong with me?

(M: I'm really in a dilemma. On one hand I want to know what's wrong, but on the other hand to do so it would mean open chest surgery, which I am not keen to put him through. Friends have suggested not to do the surgery. Just do whatever is least invasive, give him quality of life and see how long he can continue. The vet says if this continues, he'll weaken and be gone in a few months. Just as I thought there's hope of a full recovery, depressing news such as this have to come.

I've thought things will improve if only he'll start eating properly, but his appetite is on and off, and he's now very picky about food. Sometimes he takes chicken, then when I cook it the next few days he doesn't like it anymore. Sometimes he likes beef, but he goes off to after a few meals. Sometimes I try both, or fish, but he still doesn't want to eat it. I've tried stewing, frying, making soup with herbs, meatloafs, topping his food with cheese, I never know what he wants that day. Cooking for him now is really a challenge.

I really hope all these will be over soon.)

Happy Birthday Baileys!

This is a belated post. We went to Bailey's 2nd Birthday Pawty at Pawtebellos on Friday evening. And boy was my M glad that she brought me along (she was hesitating whether to bring me) because I had a wonderful appetite that night. Unfortunately, my appetite only came back for that night, and it was lost again over the weekend.

Everyone could see that I have lost weight. See my skinny head now? It looks almost pointed now.



And this is me during my bath. See my waist?



Anyway, back to the pawty.



The food there was quite yummy, that all the dogs were begging! Even me, I managed to beg a little that night.

Begging Scuba


Begging Jack & Joey


Begging Helios


My M forgot to take a picture of me begging because she was so happy that I was finally begging that she just sat there and admired the scene. But she did take pictures of us eating. We had a muttloaf and a fish with cheese.

The emperor being hand-fed




The commoner have to eat from the bowl


After all the excitement (food) was over, I found a spot to rest. And I chose to lie down right in the middle of the pawty. You can see all the legs and paws around me.



And my evil M, still had to do a funny things on head series even when I'm such a sick boy. Talk about pouring salt into my wound!



Anyway, an update about my condition. The vet called to say that they weren't able to cultivate any bacteria from my lung sample, so this could mean that the previous week of antibiotic injections have killed most of the bacteria. But recovery may take some time. My M heard from another vet that a dog he treated the last time for pneumonia took 2 months to recover!

I'll be back for my review tomorrow, so we'll see if I have made any improvement.