Yes, I know I'm supposed to be gone and not posting anymore, but I saw something and I felt I just have to leave a divine message here.
Firstly I would like to thank everyone for your prayers and kind words to me and my family. I would have tried to console my M that I'm in a better place but then again, she's never those spiritually attuned kind of people so I don't think I can manage to pass her any message.
The humans had a lunch gathering yesterday in my memory, which is good since I love food. They talked about me with love and joked about me as if I'm still there, saying what I would have been doing. Aunty G even allowed Jack and Joey to beg and eat from the lunch table (somethint which she NEVER does) because that would be something that I do, and the lunch is in my memory after all. I think J&J should thank me for that when it's their turn to join me at the rainbow bridge. Aunty G even said that since Jack likes guarding the gate so much, I should reserve a place for him at Heaven's gate. But I'll pity all those timid dogs coming to Heaven who go there because grouchy Jack will bark at all of them.
Uncle M tried to teach Helios how to speak. Unbeknownst to them, before I left, I have already taught Helios my philisophy in life, which is to 'Act Blur, Think Smart'. The less you pretend to know, the less the humans can make you do tricks for a miserable amount of treat. I'm glad that Helios has listened to my teaching and refused to bark.
Huskee's family offered condolences to my M and gave her, besides cards, a nice bear.
and because she said she got a headache from crying, they got her these as well:
They even got Helios a toy!
And Aunty G had bought this for me as a christmas gift, but now she gave it to my M. It's a January golden.
Isn't it nice? But I hope Aunty G had planned to give me something more than the figurine. I mean, it's nice, but it's not EDIBLE.
What baffled me is that, I'm the one who died here, how come they are the ones getting presents? What kind of logic is that? Shouldn't I be getting something, like food? Can't they do an airmail to Heaven? I know I'm supposed to have lots of food here, but there's no harm having MORE.
(M: I'm slowly getting to terms with Herbie leaving. Sometimes I pretend that he's still at Scuba's house, that's why he's not home, then I remember that he's never coming home. I'm ok with a conversation with friends as long as they don't talk about Herbie. Because, sometimes I can talk about him, but sometimes something will trigger off and the tears start.
The nights are the worse, and times when I'm alone. I try to do mundane things to take my mind off. But in the quiet of night, as I lay in bed, I can only think about him. How I can never say goodnight to him again. Herbie had a habit of sleeping on his bed once we go into the room for about 5 minutes, then he'll walk to the other end of the room to sleep on the floor, and throughout the night he'll alternate his sleeping places. I keep imagining the tipaty-tap of his nails as he walks across the floor. I keep getting up early in the morning and once I remember he's gone, I can't get back to sleep.
Sometimes it's the smallest thing that can trigger me off. I try to remember the fond times I had with him, then I realise I'm never gonna do that with him again. When I think about how I will never be able to cut his nails (H:Thank got for that! You're a baaaad nail cutter!), or hug him, or bring him along as I take photos. A friend told me around the time Herbie began to get sick that her dogs loves Macdonalds Ice Cream and sometimes she'll give it to them as a treat. And I said, one day, I'll bring Herbie and Helios to our nearest Mac for a cone. I waited for Herbie to get better for the nice long walk, but he never did. And he left without eating Macdonalds. (H: Darn!)
His final resting place will never feel the same again. I look at the spot and I remember that's the place he chose to lie down and leave.
I'm glad that I took so many photos of him when he was alive, because there will never be another Herbie.
