Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bored in Heaven

You know, being up in Heaven can be pretty boring at times. So when I keep getting junk/spam/scam mails in my inbox, I decided to play along with one of them.

This is the original mail:

CHEVRON OIL/PETROLUEM 2008
Head Office
8,Macarthy Street,
P.M.B Box 166Abuja, Nigeria.

This is to inform you that you have won a prizemoney of SevenHundred Thousand United States Dollars, ($700,000.00)for this year 2008 Lottery promotion which is organized byCHEVRON OIL/PETROLUEM NIGERIA 2008.

Batch number....................CT 091026XN
Reff number......................CT 095447XN
Winning number...............CT 097886XN

You are to contact him with this details below:NAME,ADDRESS,COUNTRY,SEX,AGE,OCCUPATION,PHONE NUMBER.

CONTACT FINANCE DEPARTMENT)
Name:bright mike
E-mail:mrbrightmike@hotmail.com
Tel:+2348058913385
Yours faithfully,Mr.John Obaseki.
(Chevron Oil Petroluem Bonanza/Lottery Coordinator).


Then I replied:

Did I really win???

Here's my details:

Name: Herbie T
Address: XXX (I put in my old address which has since been torn down)
Country: Singapore
Sex: M
Age: 8 yrs
Occupation: None
Phone: I can't use the phone.



And they replied! To an 8 year old!

CHEVRON OIL/PETROLUEM 2008 Head Office 8,Macarthy Street, P.M.B Box 166 Abuja, Nigeria.
DEAR BENEFICIARY,"Herbi T"

CONGRATULATIONS. A CHEQUE HAS BEEN ISSUED IN YOUR NAME, AND THE CHEVRON HAS CONCLUDED THE PROCESSING OF ALL DOCUMENT THAT WILL FACILITATE THE CLEARANCE OF YOU CHEQUE IN YOUR BANK.KINDLY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS COUNTRY IS NOT ABLE TO CARRY OUT AN INTERNATIONAL TRANSFER OR MASTER CARD TRANSFER.THIS DOCUMENT WILL IMMEDIATELY BE SENT TO YOU VIA COURIER DELIVERY.THESE DOCUMENT INCLUDE.

1. CHEQUE VALUED THE SUM OF WINNINGS IN USD
2. CERTIFICATE FROM THE CHEVRON HEADQUARTER.3. CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS CERTIFICATES(C.S.F.C.)4. ANTI-TERRORISM CERTIFICATES(A.T.C)5. CERTIFICATES OF ORIGIN OF FUNDS(C.O.F.)6.BENEFICIARY PAYMENT FORM(KINDLY NOTE THAT THIS IS THE FORM THAT STATES THE BENEFICIARIES NAME THAT WILL RECEIVE THE CHEQUE.)7.LETTER OF AFFIDAVITS FROM THE NIGERIAN HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE, STATING THAT THE DONATION WAS RECEIVED LEGALLY FROM THE CHEVRON TEXACO OIL AND GAS COMPANY PROGRAMME, AND DUELY SIGNED BY THE LEGAL ATTORNEY TO THE CHEVRON .

THESE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN SECURELY SEALED AND PACKETED DUE TO SECURITY REASON, WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO VIEW IT UNTIL DELIVERED TO YOU.

TO BEGIN THE FINAL PROCESS OF CLAIMING YOUR WINNINGS, WHICH IS SHIPPING OF YOUR WINNINGS CHEQUE TO YOU, YOU ARE HEREBY PRODUCED WITH THREE OPTIONS PRODUCED BELOW. THIS OPTION YOU ARE TO CHOOSE THE ONE MOST CONVENIENT TO YOU.

THE OPTIONS, TOGETHER WITH THEIR ASSOCIATED CONDITIONS ARE PRESENTED BELOW. YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY ALL THE NECESSARY COURIER CHARGES TO ENABLE THE SHIPMENT OF YOUR CHEQUE AND AND OTHER CLAIM DOCUMENT TO YOU.

OPTIONS:
DHL
Transfer Charges............$ 120Vat.................................$ 40
Total..............................$160

UPS
Transfer Charges............$ 155Vat.................................$ 50
Total..............................$205

FedEX
Transfer Charges............$ 180Vat.................................$ 80
Total..............................$260


Do note, That your check has been signed and parcelled ready for delivery, therefore any thought regarding deduction of charges from your winning is ruled out.

Kindly be informed that Under the enabling act of parliament, diplomatic courier delivery has to be insured by the Nigerian insurance ministry before been dispatched by courier delivery.

This company declined reverse payment for these charges, stating that it is against their professional policy towards ensuring the safe delivery of the cheque to you. That if a reverse payment is made, and something goes wrong, that we/you cannot sue the courier company or insurance company to recover the full value of the fund as stipulated in the cheque since payment for insurance cover was not made at point of mailing.With the above reason, reverse payment is ruled out. which makes it absolutely necessary to produce the courier fee before courier can dispatch delivery.
ONCE AGAIN CONGRATULATIONS.

Mr. BRIGHT MIKE.
+2348058913385


For a 'Bright' Mike, he isn't very bright. So I replied again:

But I do not have a credit card or bank account. How do I make payment? Or I could ask one of my friends, maggie or mitch or Ms Sunshade to do an aire-mail?

I wanted to ask them if they accept drumsticks for payment but I don't think they'd appreciate my joke.

I think they're beginning to figure out something's not right... And now there's this James Eric signing off. ANd I think when they copied and paste the standard response, they forgot to delete this James Taylor's name. I hope poor James Taylor didn't get conned.

dear sir
If you think these is a joke then better stop mailing us well incase you are ready to make payments

INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO EFFECT PAYMENT FOR DELIVERY

Dear Customer.(james taylor)

In receiving a mail saying that your preffered option is Fedex delivery Services,you are advice to make the payment of 360 dollars via WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEY GRAM through the Name and Address of our Accounts Officer below. Your payment reciept must be seen here before your deliverypost man can effect delivery of your parcel to you in you home address.



NAME OF RECEIVER : MAXWELL OWEN [ACCOUNTANT IN CHARGE]COUNTRY OF RECEIVER : NIGERIA.

You are to send the following information via email as they appear on the western union transfer slip or money Gram transfer slip or you are to email us with a scan copy of the payment slip 1.Name and address of sender.2.Amount sent.3.Control number (MTCN) OR Ref Number. 4.Test question and answer .
5.Country of Receiver .
6.Country of Sender.

And immediately your payment received your winnings will be sent to you in your Country within the next 24hours as instructed after the payment have been confirmed by the delivery body.Do note that your check has been signed and parcelled ready for delivery, therefore any thought regarding deduction of charges from your winning is ruled out.

I await your urgent response.

Regards.
Mr. James Eric.


Then 'Bright' Mike wrote to me again, giving me another chance (oh how I love 2nd chances!) after realising my age. But wait, it's Bright Mike's email account used, but the person signing off is now a James Taylor! So is James Taylor their customer or their staff? *confused*

And how come there's 2 lines about question and answer (I bold it below)? Is that a trick question?

INSTRUCTION ON HOW TO EFFECT PAYMENT FOR DELIVERY
sir if you think these is a way of extracting money from you please dont reply these mail.first you started by giving us a wrong age,but we are still giving you a chance.


Dear Customer.(herbie t).

NAME OF RECEIVER : MAXWELL OWEN
[ACCOUNTANT IN CHARGE]
question;relationship
answer;friend

COUNTRY OF RECEIVER : NIGERIA.benin city edo state

You are to send the following information via email as they appear on the western union transfer slip or money Gram transfer slip or you are to email us with a scan copy of the payment slip 1.Name and address of sender.2.Amount sent.3.Control number (MTCN) OR Ref Number. 4.Test question and answer .
5.Country of Receiver .
6.Country of Sender.

And immediately your payment received your winnings will be sent to you in your Country within the next 24hours as instructed after the payment have been confirmed by the delivery body.Do note that your check has been signed and parcelled ready for delivery, therefore any thought regarding deduction of charges from your winning is ruled out.

I await your urgent response.

Regards.
Mr. James taylor.


That's when I decided I've had enough and decided to stop the game.

You only realised the age part now? For a 'Bright Mike', you're not exactly very bright, ain't you? For your information, this email belongs to a dog called Herbie, who died last year.

Next time, do your research properly before randomly sending out emails. If you want money, try sending this mail to Heaven. Not everyone is as stupid as to be scammed by you guys.

HAHAHA!


Strange but they stopped talking to me after the last mail.

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.... I'm sure they're off to spend their time trying to cheat someone else instead of wasting it on a dead dog. :รพ

Did I win lottery?

16 comments:

moccabello said...

uumm... I miss Herbie :( Maybe more photos of Helios will lighten my feeling.

Amber-Mae said...

Hahahahahahaha!!!! That's a really GOOD one! Herbie, you have such humor sometimes...I get loads of those kind of emails too but after reading your post, I'm thinking of emailing back to them too giving my own identity. Would they reply back too? Hmm...

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

Anonymous said...

Herbie you are brilliant!

Those guys are slapping their own faeces, opps I mean faces!

Sami said...

Oh Herbie you are so funny! That is the way to handle those dum dums!

Kisses & Licks,
Sami

P.S Give Bella boy a sniff for me and tell him I miss his squeaks and food too! Have you met him yet in Heaven?

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Aw Angle Herbie. That's a good one! You did a pawsome job teaching them a lesson. I wonder if they are desperate enough to want heaven (paper) money. I'm sure some people wont mind burning some to them

~ Girl girl

River said...

Oh Herbie how great of you to take up some of those nasty humans time - who knows you may have actually helped stop them scamming someone else!

River

Joe Stains said...

hahaha that sure was funny!!

Huskee Boy said...

Hmmm.. I think Herbie wouldn't be interested in any amout of money.. he'd only be interested if it's drumsticks or any other kind of food! Guess those scammers did not do their research well enough.. Tsk tsk..

Cubby said...

Good one!

Charlie said...

Oh Herbie, you're a stitch! Be careful about messing with those guys, though. Sometimes they don't have much of a sense of humor.
- Charlie

Katherine and Pippa said...

You are working well hard for those of us down here. Thanks pal.
Pippa

jmason said...

He just sent me an e-mail with a similar scam - I wonder if people actually fall for this stuff:

Greetings.

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable Bank Draft of $700.000.00 United States Dollars, but I did not hear from you since that time. Then I went and deposited the Draft with SWIFT COURIER SERVICE, West Africa, I travelled out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not come back till end of June.What you have to do now is to contact the SWIFT COURIER SERVICE as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charge, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.The only money you will send to the SWIFT COURIER SERVICE $350.00 USD to deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address.You have to contact the SWIFT COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your Draft with this information bellow:

Mr. Bright Mike
Email:mrbrightmike@hotmail.com
Tell:+2348058913385

Anonymous said...

I dun mind burning some hell paper f.o.c for those people who wanna cheat people's money. lol

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed that I received a completely email from a Darshan Desai (darshan.d@indiabulls.com)

This is to inform you that you have a price money of $ 750,000 deposited with swift by yahoo windows live lottery 2008 contact mr Adewale Jacob with your contact details to collect your price, Email:mradewalejacob04@live.com Tel:+2348058913385

I just like that they never bother to change the phone number ... might give them a call at around 4am their time ...

Anonymous said...

Herbie u r great!U have really slapped them out.
On 13 August, 2008 the same kind of email came 2 me.Here it is:
CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM COMMISSION
Abuja (Regional Office-North)
Plot 698, Zone B3,
Off Jelowo Idris Road,
abdul District,
Abuja.Nigeria

We bring to your notice,that during our randomly select of
the(CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM)lucky winner,your mail was the luckies
winner of our CHEVRON ONLINE BONANZA.So all you have to do,
right away is for you to go on with the forms filling,so as to no the
identity of our luky winner.you have to quickly at fast as
possible,once again CONGRATULATION.

Draw (#385)
Date: 9TH-August 2008.
Ticket Number:234867009 with a
Serial Number 80074/09
Winning numbers: 04, 08, 20, 05, 27, 16 (BONUS.20)
Amount: $7,500,000.00 USD

Contact the promotion Manager with the information below:

Full Names:....................................
Contact Address:....................
Nationality:..............
Sex:..........
Tel:........................
Home/Mobile:......................
Fax:...................
Occupation:...........................
Batch/Winning Numbers:................................
Mrital status:...........................
Country:.......................

So your mailings are much needed,
Yours faithfully,
Mr: Ali Yusuf.
Services Manager,
Payment and Release order Department,
CHEVRON LOTTERY CLAIMS PROCESSING AGENT.
Federal Capital City,
Abuja.Nigeria
Email:mr_ali_yusuf61@yahoo.com.hk
Call Me @:+23480-7206-1247
Mr.Deji Suleman
Chevron Oil Petroluem Bonanza/Lottery Coordinator,
Winning Department,

At 1st I was a bit surprised, but was happy too. So I replied 2 their mail.
Sir,
Thank you a lot for mailing me. But I am a bit confused about the mail. I'll be highly obliged if you kindly make me clear what the matter is. I am providing my information which you have asked for:
Full Names:.Gourab Barman...................................
Contact Address:.xxxxxxxx...,


Nationality: Indian:..............
Sex:....Male......
Tel:........................
Home/Mobile:xxxxxxxx......
Fax:...................
Occupation:......Student.....................
Batch/Winning Numbers:.....04, 08, 20, 05, 27, 16...(BONUS.20)........................
Mrital status:....Single.......................
Country:..India.....................
Yours faithfully, Gourab

I thought Ihave become a millionaire. But actually I was waiting for when they will asked for money. then they mail me:

CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM COMMISSION
Official Head Quaters, Abuja.
PLOT 4, BLOCK 23,
GARKI, ABUJA, NIGERIA
Website:www.chevron.com
Call Me @:+23480-7206-1247
Concern:Gourab Barman,

Congratulations once again on behalf of the CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM Board. We do believe that your winnings will be put into good use for community, Educational and Business development. On Behalf of the Screening Committee of CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM Board , I wish to formally announce to you that you have successfully passed the Email Screening and Verification Matching Test conducted for all online winners in your Category. Hence you are therefore cleared, your cheque has been issued and you can now claim your Award.

All necessary documents that will facilitate the clearance of your cheque in your name has been processed. Your parcel contains the following documents:

1.DONATION CHEQUE VALUED THE SUM OF $7,500,000.00.
2.CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM COMMISSION(COPC)
3.CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS CERTIFICATES(C.S.F.C.)
4. CONFIRMATION LETTER.
5.LETTER OF AFFIDAVITS FROM THE NIGERIAN HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE, STATING THAT THE DONATION WAS RECEIVED LEGALLY FROM THE UNIVERSAL DONATION PROGRAMME, AND DUELY SIGNED BY THE LEGAL ATTORNEY TO THE ECOWAS.


These documents have been securely sealed and packed for security reasons which makes it impossible for anyone to view it until its been delivered to you.You are to Choose from the delivery Options below.

Find below our delivery options which you are required to choose the one that is most convinient to you.

World Cargo home page
First Class Delivery:24hours
________________________
Mailing: $100.00
Insurance: $70.00
Handling charges: $30.00
Vat: $50.00
TOTAL: $250.00

World Cargo home page
Premium Class Delivery:72hours
____________________________
Mailing: $80.00
Insurance: $50.00
Handling charges: $40.00
Vat: $30.00
TOTAL: $200.00

World Cargo home page
Normal Class Delivery:120hours
________________________
Mailing: $60.00
Insurance: $40.00
handling charges: $30.00
Vat: $20.00
TOTAL: $150.00


Any of the above chosen option cost should be paid by you to the Courier delivery office

This company declined reverse payment for these charges, stating that it is against their professional policy towards ensuring the safe delivery of the cheque to you. That if a reverse payment is made, and something goes wrong, We cannot sue the courier company or insurance company to recover the full value of the fund as stipulated in the cheque since payment for insurance cover was not made at point of mailing.With the above reason, reverse payment is ruled out.

Note: that your prize is protected by a hard covery insurance policy, which makes it impossible to deduct any amount from the money before it has been remitted and delivered to you. This means that the above charges cannot be deducted from the prize and hence must be provided by you because your are an international winner,before your prize is deliver to you.

This is in accordance with section (999) of the national gambling act as adopted in 1993 and amended on 3rd july 1996 by the constitutional assembly.This is to protect winners and to avoid misappropriation of funds.

Send your response to us immediately to indicate your option within the next 24hrs,because you only have 7 days to claim this cheque and after this period,your cash prize will be deemed to have been forfeited by you and will be re used in the drawings of the next edition of the lottery.Do get back to us with the Option that best suit you so that we can provide you an information to make the payment as soon as possible.

Regards
Mr.Ali yusuf
Director CHEVRON OIL/PETROLEUM COMMISSION
Call Me @:+23480-7206-1247
===================================================================
This e-mail is intended only for the above addressee. It may contain
privileged information. If you are not the addressee you must not
copy, distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it. If
you have received it in error please delete it and immediately notify
the sender.
===================================================================
Your response is been awaited

I send them my choice that I wanna get my parcel through normal class delivery. The real game starts from here. In spite of giving my choice they told me 2 pay for d premium class delivery which was $200. There I struck and my suspicion grew and in the same way told me 2 pay me that amount through Western Union money Transfer. Then searched d net and sought out d phone number
of the Chevron office in New Delhi and called them. Therefrom I came 2 know this a complete forgery.

Friends be aware of such mails.
Gourab

aileen said...

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


Susan

http://dclottery.info